How to Take it in Your Stride

Sure as little green apples, the time will come when you'll be asked to make a speech. It may be to propose the toast to the bridesmaids at the wedding of your best friend's daughter, or to welcome the guests at the Opening Night of your first art exhibition. Whatever it may be, as the big day looms closer, you will discover why 87 percent of people surveyed say they dread public speaking more than death itself.

The reason for this is usually given as Shyness. I know all about that. As a painfully shy teenager, I'd lose my dinner every time before leaving the house for one of the parties or social dances my mother wisely insisted that I attend. Then one day, I realised the truth about Shyness: It is just an inverted form of Vanity. Look at it:
Vanity thinks: "Everybody's looking at me! And admiring."
Shyness thinks:"Everybody's looking at me! And criticising."
Both are mistaken. You need to be, or achieve, something outstanding to capture the attention of the rest of us who are so busy with our own concerns.

Growing up, we were all trained not to "show off" or draw attention to ourselves. The result of this training is a lot of people hampered by shyness. Shyness is often considered an endearing trait - in someone else. If you are that someone, it can be a crippling handicap to your social happiness and confidence.

But it needn't be so. Listen and I'll tell you the secret truth that will melt your fears and let you stand up confidently to speak in front of any audience. But, here's a warning: The Secret, powerful as it is, is also so simple that many of you will dismiss it. Go right ahead - and rejoin the 87 percent of folk who would rather die than make a speech. You others come a bit closer, because I'm going to whisper. The Secret comes in two parts:
(a) Half the audience - the male half, that is, (women being far less likely to be invited to speak) will feel a bond of sympathy with you, since they have either been through the ordeal or fear it will be their turn soon.
(b) It really doesn't matter how you look, what you wear, or what you say, because no one will be paying you very much attention anyway.

If you suddenly developed the power to read minds, you'd see that of that audience you're facing, one will be calculating his chances of persuading that bridesmaid - the one with the big smile - to go on with him to a nightclub, after the party. The woman next to him is wishing she hadn't worn the new shoes that are pinching her toes so unmercifully. The man behind her is anguished by the feeling that his hairpiece has slipped and is wondering if it would give away his secret if he reaches up to adjust it.

You see, we're all bound up in our own little worlds. To each of us, the most interesting character on Earth is the person we see in the bathroom mirror. And most of the time, we're so busy watching ourselves that we don't have much in-depth attention to spare for anyone else.

Now, I don't mean that you can just stand up without any preparation and hope that what comes out of your mouth will at least make sense. You owe it to your friend, or your gallery director to do a decent job of the speech you've promised. So you do need to give the job some thought. Myriad books about the art of speech-making are available, but for your purposes, all that's really needed is to know the basics: